Jesus Wept, and So Can You!

by frazzledmama on October 8, 2010

Do you ever struggle with your emotions? I know I do.  Those who know me best know that I hate, and I mean hate, to cry in public. Over the last two years, I think I have cried more in public than in my entire life.  I’m not sure why I feel this way, I just do.  Sometimes, I think it must be genetic, because my mom doesn’t cry in public, and her mom, I’ve only seen her cry once in my entire life.

But, I’m not really talking about that.  I don’t think it makes a difference if someone cries in public or not.  Some of my closest friends cry at the drop of a hat.  I just don’t and that’s ok.  What I am talking about it struggling with the things I am feeling.  Last night is a perfect example and is what sparked these thoughts in my head.  So, I will start there.

The last two weeks have been incredible. Incredibly amazing as I’ve watch the Lord bless and comfort my family.  Incredibly surprising watching Sugar Belle’s recovery move at such a fast pace. But it’s also been incredibly exhausting, and sometimes discouraging.  This is the point at which I struggle. I struggle with it, in that I feel as though I am letting the Lord down by feeling tired, grouchy, tired, short-tempered, tired, frazzled, tired, and so on.

tired_mom

Yesterday was particularly hard.   The other 3 kiddos have been home with me since Sunday, and it’s been interesting.  It’s been neat to see them pull together and help Sugar Belle.  It’s been funny to hear, “No, it’s your turn to help her, we’ve been doing it all morning.” It’s been awesome to see Tootle Bug do things without being asked, like cleaning up the girl’s room, and changing the sheets on her sisters bed. But yesterday was just frazzling.

It really started off by me not sleeping the night before.  When we came home from the hospital, Sugar Belle had to sleep in the recliner, and she wanted me close-by, so I slept on the couch.  Well, she is back in her bed, but I am still on the couch because Mr. OverKill came home from work Monday sounding like Barry White, with the mother of all colds in his chest.  Right now, I don’t need one more thing, so I have opted to sleep on the couch, out of reach of his germs ;) Point being? I’m not sleeping well, whether it’s the couch, or my hormones, I don’t know.  Last night was one of my worst nights in a while, so when the kids came filling into the family room around 7:00am, I took my pillow and got in my bed, my very own bed, that I have missed so much! I was able to get about 2 hours of sleep before the natives got restless. But, it kind of put my whole day in a funk and I had a hard time thinking clearly.  For example (Mom, don’t take this the wrong way) Mom called and asked if she could come by so I could take a look at a website she was building. I was like, “Sure why not?”  So, I dinked around with Mom for about 2 hours. When she left I was like “Crap!  Why did I just do that?  My house looks like a bomb went of in it and I just dinked around for 2 hours, I don’t have time for this!”  The rest of my day pretty much followed suit.  Little Man accidentally smacked himself in the face with a tent post, and the kids were all at each other.  So, I finally just sent the two little guys to bed, and sat Bubba and Sugar Belle down in front of a movie, and I just took a break.  But, maybe I shouldn’t have.  As the evening went on, and I was trying to get everything ready to go for this morning’s doctors appointment, I just got so frustrated and overwhelmed that I started to cry.

Then, I got mad at myself for crying and feeling overwhelmed. I thought to myself, “Why are you so upset?  This is the path the Lord has for you to walk right now.  It’s not easy, but He is with you, and through Him, you can do it!” At times like these, I feel like I have let the Lord down.  I feel like I have failed him when I become overwhelmed with life.  While I was trying to go to sleep, I was thinking about this and sort of praying about it, when the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead popped into my mind.

32 Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”
33 Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. 34 And He said, “Where have you laid him?”
They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.”
35 Jesus wept. 36 Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”
37 And some of them said, “Could not this Man, who opened the eyes of the blind, also have kept this man from dying?”

Lazarus Raised from the Dead

38 Then Jesus, again groaning in Himself, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.”
Martha, the sister of him who was dead, said to Him, “Lord, by this time there is a stench, for he has been dead four days.”
40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” 41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead man was lying. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. 42 And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.” 43 Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!” 44 And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.”  John 11:32-44

Jesus wept.  Why?  Some people will say because He was mourning, others will say it was because of Mary and Martha’s unbelief, and yet other will say it was because He was about to for Lazarus, what He would later do for Himself.  I say whatever, Jesus wept!  Whatever the reason was, he showed emotion, whether it was sadness or frustration it doesn’t matter.

I also thought about Luke 13:34

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing!

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like frustration to me!  And so, I came to the conclusion that God gave us these emotions for a reason.  We can also see from several other verses that God displays what we best understand as emotions (Psalm 18:19, Matthew 3:17, Numbers 11:1) But like all things, we must keep them under control.   I draw that conclusion from several verses, that show the character of God, for example, 2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

In the same way that fear shouldn’t rule in our hearts, our other emotions shouldn’t run the show either.

And also, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. 25 And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. 26 Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. 27 But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

In reading that whole chapter, you will see that Paul isn’t necessarily speaking about our physical bodies, as much as our spirit and our conduct. I must discipline even my emotions.  They can be a good thing, or a bad thing, depending on my response to them.

I came to the conclusion that being frustrated is ok, as long as I don’t stay there.  Being sad, and tired, is ok, as long as I don’t stay there.  I guess it all comes back to this…

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen. 1Peter 5:6-11. (emphasis mine)

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

bennie October 9, 2010 at 1:26 pm

U done it again Frazzled, U R one NEAT MOM . God Bless u, as he has meny times im shure.

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Sweetpea October 19, 2014 at 12:04 pm

VERY NICE! I couldn’t have read this at a better time. Considering a lot of turmoil going on….I just took an hour to walk/run and think…interesting that at the end of the hour, I concluded the same thing…TRUST in HIM. ACT with LOVE. WE can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. :) Love you!

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