A Thorn in my Side

by frazzledmama on August 18, 2009

Yesterday was a really rough day for me.  Over the last few weeks I have become very discouraged about my health, or lack thereof.

In a nutshell, I have been on a nine and a half month journey to figure out why I have been feeling so poorly.  I’ve been through several incorrect diagnoses; sinusitis, low blood sugar, and of course the good old fall back, it’s just your Graves Disease flaring up.  I’ve had tests run for my heart, lungs, organ functions, cancer markers, all coming back clean.

My symptoms were varied; dizziness, chest heaviness, forgetfulness, irritability, irregular cycles, nausea (every day!), racing heartbeat, fatigue, anxiety, insomnia, muscle tension, panic attacks, and more!

After a trip to the ER with no real information (just a nice stack of bills),  I began to seek out answers on my own, but wasn’t really getting anywhere.  I began to pray and ask the Lord for knowledge and wisdom.  I had always prayed for wisdom, but didn’t realize that without knowledge, wisdom will only get you so far.  The Lord placed a thought in my head!  I looked up the symptoms of menopause on the internet.  I came across this article. Then, I sat down and cried!  I had 23 of the 35 symptoms of menopause. I began to feel a little better, though.  I was finally getting somewhere, and there was some comfort, menopause isn’t going to kill me! The kicker is, I am only 34!  But, considering my body has never really functioned correctly, due to Graves Disease, it really made sense.

So, armed with my list of symptoms, I went to a new OB-GYN, who had a reputation for being patient oriented and very helpful and actually listened to her patients.  Well, let’s just say she must have been having a bad day the day I visited.  She looked at my symptoms, and promptly dismissed them to my being overweight.  Basically I was told that if I would just loose 40 pounds, all my troubles would vanish.  I wanted to ask the toothpick of a Dr. what she knew about loosing weight, but I refrained.  Mr. OverKill asked me later if I had told her that I have lost 40 pounds over the last 3 years.  I was just too shocked at that point to think of anything to say.  If you have thyroid dysfunction (or almost NO thyroid, like me), you will know the extreme difficulty there is in loosing weight with this dysfunction.

So, I left the Doctor’s office very discouraged.  I decided that I wasn’t going to get any help from the “traditional” medical community.  So, a friend suggested a homeopath here in town that she has gotten a lot of help from.  I visited their office and was encouraged when they agreed that I was beginning to go through menopause, and wanted me to take a saliva test. The results of the test would allow the testing company to create a cream for me, that would give me the exact hormone supplements that I needed. The drawback here is that the test and the cream was a tad expensive…and times are tough.

After my trip to the ER, I had asked some friends at church to be praying for me.  One specific person, continued to ask me about how I was doing.  As I began to talk more with her, she shared with me that as part of her practice as a chiropractor she had focused on women’s health issues.  The more we talked, the more I began to feel like she might be the best person to help me.  So, I made an appointment with her. She spent a couple of hours with me, and explained that while, yes she felt like I was experiencing menopausal symptoms, she didn’t feel like it was the only problem.  Considering the fact that I have been on prescriptions drugs since I was about 6 years old, she thought my liver might be a bit rundown.  She did a couple of tests, and combined them with my recent blood work, and came to the conclusion that my liver was worn down, which was effecting everything else, and could be causing the hormonal symptoms.

She started me on a good B vitamin complex, for my liver, gave me a natural muscle relaxer, as well as something to help me with the hormonal symptoms. I have been taking these for about a month now, and I can definitely see a change, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days.

Yesterday was a bad day.  I woke up achy, sick to my stomach, my chest was heavy, the muscles in my chest and shoulders tight, and my allergies were giving me a fit.  Not fun!  I got in the shower and began to pray.  I told the Lord how discouraged I was, how it’s not fun to feel poorly for 9 months.  I told the Lord I knew He had a reason for walking me through these trials.  I began to wonder if I was going to feel like this for the rest of my life, and that thought made me cry. But then I remembered that God isn’t asking me to walk through this forever, He’s only asking me to walk through this today.

He also gave me 3 huge blessings yesterday!  Blessing one, Bubba decided to host “Bubba Camp” at the house, essentially taking the kiddos off my hands. (More on Bubba Camp later).

Blessing Two, my Mother-in-Law, recently back from a three week vacation in Scotland, wanted to have the kiddos over for the afternoon.  So, I was really able to take care of the chores I had piled up for myself yesterday, and to rest!

Blessing Three, was finding the video I posted yesterday for Monday Morning Music.  That video helped me remember the hope of restoration, whether Spiritual of Physical. It helped me remember that my joy needs to be found in my salvation, not my physical circumstances. And then the verses at the end….

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.  And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

I have to believe that He is perfecting His strength in my weakness.

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